THINGS A MOTHER WOULD SAY...

There's the saying that you know you're getting old when you hear yourself saying things that your mother / father would say...

I know Harry has found himself popping out with the "I'm not paying to heat/cool the whole neighborhood - close that door!" Well, needless to say I've used some of my Mom's classics ("David! You can't drive any faster than the car in front of you!!!") but my kids are going to have some of mine to warp their own children with... (said the woman whose mother told her that brown cows made chocolate milk....)


"HANNAH IS MY FAVORITE"
Well, okay, so yes -- this one probably is the truest one spoken. The dog *is* my favorite, because, quite frankly, she DOESN'T TALK BACK.


"YOU'RE THE FAVORITE"
This is normally preceded by whichever child has earned this decree having had cried, "Why do *I* always have to do THAT?!!" Whenever they complain about a chore, we simply explain it is because THEY are the favorite. And when I say "we", I don't mean it in a queenly sort of manner. The Man has also started using this phrase! "Why do I have to take out the trash?" "Because you're the favorite!"


"IF YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, MOMMY GETS FIRST DIBS"
Mouth knows this one by heart. He can repeat it verbatim, backwards & forwards. I feel that if my children do something so STUPID as to put their life in danger, I ought to be able to take care of that for them. Because, after all (say it with me -- you know you want to!!)... "I brought you into this world; I can take you out of this world!!"


"TELL IT TO THE PSYCHOLOGIST"
We used to always say that we'd put a quarter into their therapy jar for every "transgression" we made. At this point, we could have paid off the national debt, so we just tell them that they can tell the psychologist about it when they go as adults to un-warp themselves.