SLLLLLLLLLUUURRRPPPPP!!

You know that part in the movie, Bruce Almighty, where Jim Carrey's character starts to flip out from the deafening roar of the cocaphany of prayers / voices he's hearing in his head? While I in no way am trying to compare myself to God, there's just times I feel that something is sucking the life energy out of me!

Could it be that I'm overcommitting myself to different groups? I don't know. I do know that I enjoy many of them; the MOPS group that I'll be co-Discussion Leader for next year is something that I never got to see to fruition because we left Cincinnati right when I was in the middle of being part of the chartering Steering Committee at our (then) church... Sometimes (okay, to be honest, not as often as I'd like....) I enjoy MOMS Club, and I'll be REALLY glad to give up my Membership VP role... but unfortunately I was VERY SILLY and agreed to take on the Administrative VP role, so now I feel pressured by knowing I have to do two service projects. I just have to try to remember that I have TWELVE months to do two, so it's really not that big of a deal... And this summer I get to pass over the "reins" of the Moms small group I've been leading at church, so that will be nice...just not to feel responsible for it.

Could it be the monotony of my daily life? Knowing that I *DO* have the majority of the responsibility for everything? And that all I seem to do is tell Patrick to put down his book... Kevin to not talk back... and Ryan to get down / get out of / etc..... ?? Knowing that homework time is going to end with Kevin screaming at me because he thinks that whatever he has wrong in his homework is actually right? Or that I have to repeat myself three times to Patrick because he can't walk 5 yards without forgetting what it was he was headed to do, or his chores aren't done, or blah blah blah blah?

(Right now Kevin is stomping around the family room telling me that his math sheet is right. I don't know why I bother.)

Could it be the time suck that we call Cub Scouts around here? The next five weekends are shot because of CS stuff. I'd just like a weekend that we had "OFF" so that we could actually get something DONE around here!

Then it's just the whole issue of wanting & trying to do the things that I feel I ought to, because I want to help out people who are having rough times or I just want to send them a note as a boost or make someone sick a meal or actually call a friend I haven't been able to connect with in so long... and I don't find the time for those things so then they are just weighing on me... pressing me down with the failure of incompleteness....

I just feel like the life energy is being sucked dry by the amount of things that I want to get done and haven't -- sorta like putting a bunch of pebbles into a glass of water, and the water is rising up & pouring up, out & over the edges of the glass...